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Skyline (2010)

(PG-13) 94 mins

Synopsis: Jarrod and his pregnant girlfriend Elaine travel to Los Angeles to celebrate his old friend and successful entrepreneur, Terry’s birthday. At dawn of the next morning, the group is awakened by mysterious beams of blue light descending on the city of Los Angeles. Suddenly people are drawn outside like moths to a flame, where an extraterrestrial force threatens to swallow the entire human population off the face of the Earth. The group of friends try to escape from the alien invaders.

Directors: Colin StrauseGreg Straus

Writers: Joshua CordesLiam O’Donnell

Stars: Eric BalfourDonald FaisonScottie Thompson, & David Zayas

Best Boy Grip: Pat Wallner

CraigMakk:  (Cruel & Unusual Punishment)  Have you ever seen a movie that started off okay, then got interesting about twenty minutes in, then ended in the absolute WORST ENDING IN CINEMA HISTORY?  Oh, you saw Skyline also?  Wow, welcome to the club…we hold recovery meetings every other Wednesday in the church at 8pm.  What I’m saying is, this movie is horrendous.  The special effects alone would give this movie two beer mugs, but they obviously spent their entire budget on that one area.  Nothing on cast, script, story, and especially ending.  At one point I got a little hooked, thinking they were going for a Cloverfield vibe: what is going on, why are the aliens here, how will the cast survive, how will humanity even exist after this horrific attack, etc.  Then I came to realize that not only was the movie not going to answer any of these questions, it was going to wait until I least expected it and vomit on my face while I watched.  Seriously, the end is like the writer got drunk and fell asleep in the middle of writing the most childish excuse for an action sequence ever, then woke up hung over and realized the script was due IMMEDIATELY.  So rather than actually finish it, he just stumbled into work smelling like Vodka and piss and handed it in.  Then, rather than actually proof-read said embarrassing script, the director went ahead and said, “ACTION!”  So, take that for what you will, but you will not be happy if you watch this.  You may be confused, most likely be angry, and possibly enraged at the terrible lines the cast pretends to “act” out, but you will definitely not be happy.  Watch this at your own peril…and don’t blame me if you want to stare into a nuclear explosion through a telescope in rage after you do.  Oh yeah, that’s in the movie also, and it’s as sad as the idea of an actor staring into a telescope directly at a nuclear explosion and surviving without a scratch sounds like it should be in your head.

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About CraigMakk

As co-host and producer of the incredible podcast "Live from the ManCave!", I'm also kind of an ass. With that being said, check us out and welcome to the ManCave!

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