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Horror Express (1972)

(R) 88 mins

Watch it for free at Internet Archive.

Synopsis: An English anthropologist (Christopher Lee) has discovered a frozen monster in the frozen wastes of Manchuria which he believes may be the Missing Link.  He brings the creature back to Europe aboard a trans-Siberian express, but during the trip the monster thaws out and starts to butcher the passengers one by one.
Director: Eugenio Martín
Producer: Bernard Gordon
Serious Jest:  (Free View)  A great idea, terribly executed…in all the right ways.   This movie is bad: the special effects and junk science are ridiculous, the “action” is laughable, and the characters are often overacted (especially Captain Kaza, played by Telly Savalas; and Father Pujardov, played by Alberto de Mendoza).  But the concept is actually awesome, the pace and timing is just right, the characters are eccentric in an interesting way, and if you’ve figured out by now that you can better enjoy this movie by laughing at it, the few attempts at bad jokes scattered throughout the  film will actually make you smile.  This movie would have been a perfect feature on Mystery Science Theater 3000, or for a night of you and your friends drinking and cracking jokes through it.  MVP here goes to Lee, who nailed the role of a smug, self-righteous Brit that reminded me of Bruce Campbell mixed with Sherlock Holmes.  This film is screaming (no pun intended) for a Quentin Tarantino remake.  I would highly recommend keeping the same setting (1906 tran-Siberian express train), but with the improved special effects now available, this could be an incredible modern campy film.



About Serious Jest

Film & TV Reviewer by Choice, Attorney at Law, Marine to the Corps (excuse the pun), Nupe Under Pressure, and MC by Nature

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